High EQ Skills

There's various ways to look at EQ and understanding what it is.  For the basics think:

1. Awareness of Emotions
2. Management of Emotions
3. Self-Motivation
4. Empathy
5. Relationship capacity

Items 1-3 are Intrapersonal  Items 4-5 are Interpersonal.  The more intra personal traits and skills we have (understanding ourself) the more capable we are of the interpersonal traits and skills (understanding others.)

It is intrinsic in humans to want to succeed ... to belong and to contribute.  We want to contribute as much to our own life and ability to live as well as to contribute to making a difference in the greater community.

Another way to look at it is the ability to utilize our emotions, the thoughts we say in our head, the words we voice out loud and the actions we take in order to make a difference in our world.  When I think of EQ I think of positive traits.  Negative traits/skills are Low EQ. 

I hope you can have a day of "thinking" about where you utilize EQ in your daily living...you're doing it all the time...you just may not be aware of it.

Create a GREAT day!
Sue

Maslow's hierarchy of needs

Ever think about your "needs"?  A need is not a preference it is a must.  According to Abraham Maslow, there is a hierarchy of human needs. Whether in regards to work, relationships, team efficiency, life... I'm going to state these in regards to being part of a family. These needs can be applied to any walk of life.

1. Survival:What a family member needs in order to know that what they are doing is acceptable and fits within the boundaries of the family unit.
2. Security:Let your family members know that their contribution are of value, are considered, that nothing is unacceptable for consideration - behind the most obscure contribution may be the hiding the largest contribution.  Family members can express ideas knowing no one will reproach them, talk about them or make them feel uncomfortable for having contributed and expressed suggestions.
3. Belonging: You are part of the family, but are you accepted? Do you feel like your contributions are considered worthy?  Belonging is a powerful fulfillment. 
4. Prestige: The feeling that you have "standing" within the group. A feeling that you are regarded as a participant with credit and value.  Does your family allow for its members to feel they have prestige?
5. Self-fulfillment: Intrinsic in nature is a deep seated need to feel fulfilled, our soul and mind yearn for it. Consider is your family allows those within it to shine, to feel of worth, to feel they are truly making a difference.

I hope you have all your needs met today!

Sue

Expect the Unexpected

Expect the unexpected and I mean that mostly in a positive way.  You know those great day dreaming thoughts in your head, the "wishful" thinking that a certain phone call or opportunity will come along. Then the old negative thoughts can creep in and down you go!  My suggestion is to think, the positive exciting, the thrilling, the possible can happen - so, can the negative.  My focusing on the positive potential, the excitement of what that will feel like, is so much more rewarding than focusing on the negative...and, often the positive happens for me.

I believe in having the intention that good if not GREAT things are going to happen for me and then I expect that to happen!  I then "allow" my days to move along, feeling like something good... expecting the unexpected (for I don't know what form the event, contact, person will be in) AND...low and behold the unexpected joy, phone call, contact appears.

What we focus on happens...yes I expect it, but it's the form it comes in that is the unexpected...I don't overly focus on the how...I allow it to evolve and become and how exciting that is!

Expect the unexpected today...look for the "wow!"

Sue

React vs Responding

React - acting as we usually do, often a knee jerk reaction.  How often do you wish you hadn't said that which you just did?  Wish you had "responded" differently?

There's many times we might wish to respond - to be able to pause before saying or doing something. 

You might try the five R's

• React: Realizing you wish to not "react"
• Refrain: Hold back from saying or doing something right away.
• Reword: Reword in your head what you really wish to say.
• Respond: This allows you to respond - to say or do what you really wanted to
• Regain: Regain your composure and begin to feel better about your ability to do so.

Good luck - how might you respond today?!
Create a great day,
Sue

Love, Grief and Emotions

Little did I know when I wrote the last blog on April 17th, that we would lose a friend unexpectedly and instantaneously.  The shock of that and the reality is a powerful punch.  Our emotions rise up in total disconnect that it can't be true, yet it sits there naked and true.

Grief is a complicated process...it comes to visit whether it's a death or a loss of another kind.  Emotions rush in like a tsunami, with a force unpredictable and powerful.  They ebb out and leave behind the remains and representation of that force.  Hidden within that powerful tidal wave is the truth of what that loss meant and therein lies the honor...the hurt, the pain, the confusion, the anger all in correlation to what the person meant...to be able to feel the grief, acknowledge it and to witness it, brings a truth that "This person's life mattered and mattered greatly to me.

Appreciate what they meant to you, feel the emotions and allow a part of yourself to know how important their essence was to you and to others.

Children need to see us feel a loss...to acknowledge that it hurts, that the person mattered and will be missed.  They need to see us heal, accept, rejoice, recognize and move on.  They need to see us still talk about the person with love, laughter and enjoyment. 

We all face loss...we all lose someone we love and someday we will be the one that others grieve over.
Right now I'm in a state of grief...my EQ allows me recognize it and embrace it.

I hope if you are grieving over someone you can recognize your emotions and acknowledge them.
Sue